Regret
by Reddish chan
Summary: I have found a way of returning keel to his origanal form. But, every time i think of him, my heart twists. I love him, but, every time I ask "are you sure?" He doesn't care, he responds something like 'hell ya'. Things get out of control. I almost die, as well as blue. Dreams come to me, that seem so real, that they could happen. And keel and mippy are on the verge of enemies.


**yea I wrote this awhile ago, i wasn't really sure if I was going to publish it though. Not one of my best, but yea. The song is ****_thosand years from Kristina perri_**

"Keel, is there really no doubt that you want to become a dragon ape again?" I ask, in a curios tone, knowing the answer, every time having hope he would notice my feelings for him.

My heart drops, low in my stomach, "of course! I want to be a dragon ape again! Why wouldn't I, I won't miss this damn body!" He yelled, "why do you keep asking?"

I open my mouth, and just a second later, I begin to explain, "well, you aren't being hunted, or attacked," I lie, yet really he doesn't notice, thank god.

I move closer to him, the chill of the night air, the fire about 20 feet away crackling, and lastly, the fact that blue wasn't here. I slide to him little more, my cheeks, tinting pink. "I could beat their asses in my sleep, you already know that," he didn't brag, but almost whispered, with a soft voice.

"Keel, it was a stupid question, sorry, I just didn't want you to live in a way you didn't want to," I can change him back, tomorrow, I will. I no longer need my heart to break over and over again. I pull my sleeping bag, turning away from keel so he wouldn't see me, and a single tear, slipped from my eyes, as I lay my head in my pillow. Mippy, slept closer to the fire, peacefully, he had a small smile on his face. At least he's having a good time, I close my eyes, for a good minute.

"Lavie," his voice cooed, I hum back, 'hmn?' But didn't turn around to face him. "Why'd you really ask that question," what a taboo subject, keel, I'm not going to tell you.

"I don't know," I respond.

"Tell me," his voice commanded, but kept it low.

"No."

"Yes"

This was getting annoying, and I'm getting angry. This really, I'm going to tell him, "I will show you tomorrow."

"What tomorrow?!" He yelled, loud enough mippy didn't awaken.

"I show you later,"

"What later!" He yelled, "Tell me!"

"Keel! I can undo your spell, I remembered the last part, today, and it's the melody, so stop!" I yell at him, standing up.

"Then why haven't you said anything!" He yelled furiously, as he began to stand, "why haven't you changed me!"

Tears threaded to spill, as I step back, "I wanted one more day with someone I care about!" I screamed at him, and turn around, tears poured down my face, I jump over a rock, and begin to run, as if it was my life depending on it. I ran past a few monsters, but if they wanted to attack me they could, but I have a feeling they sensed keel. I look up, the night sky, only showing few stars, as trees got in the way covering the sky. I could hear his voice, not so far away, so I jump, grabbing a branch, pulling myself up, and begin to climb the tree.

To my luck, no monsters were sleeping in the tree, as I peer down, watching keel around for me. Silent tears streamed out of my eyes, as I watch him yell, and look for me, "Lavie!" His voice was frustrated, and soft. Weird, why soft? But I still hold my breath, as I hide from the one person I cared about most in life, keel. Sure, I've had other boyfriends, crushes, and stuff like that, but nothing compared to how I like keel. "Lavie, Lavie, Lavie" I hear him whisper as he walked to the tree trunk, he didn't look up, but instead, he slammed his fist into the tree, and I squeal, losing my grip from the tree.

He looked up, his eyes locked with mine, as I fall back. I open my eyes once more, expecting a hard fall, bracing myself from pain, but instead, I land in 2 warm arms. "Lavie?"

"Leave me alone!" I stand from his arms, and back away, I no longer want to talk to him, becaus every time I fall deeper and deeper in love with him, just a word, and knowing that makes me even more scared of him leaving.

His eye shake in surprise, "Lavie, I'm sorry," he began, "I didn't mean to be angry, I was just, shaken, I guess," he put a hand behind his head, "it complicated, but thanks for changing me back, I can't wait."

I didn't notice, till I feel the warm tear, slid down my cheek, and stop, falling into my lips. I am broken. Completely broken. "Lavie?" He looked worried.

"I'm fine, leave me alone," I turn my back and begin to walk back to the camp site.

"No!" He raised his voice, "your not!"

He finally noticed, but he's the only one that can help me, and the only one to break me "But you aren't going to help, so leave me alone," I keep my back to him, hiding every single tear falling.

"Tell me! Why won't you ever tell me the truth?!" He yelled, "all you do, is come up with any shitty excuse! Tell me what the hells your fucking problem!"

Yet again, tomorrow is the last day I will ever see him, he's not going to stop because of my feelings, "keel, let me tell you, you, nor I can fix this problem, and I don't know how long it'll last," I give him a twist, only if he were smart maybe he would understand. "I can't just recover, in a day or two like you and blue, and this, tomorrow, when you," I sob, "leave, I won't ever see you again. And my heart will ache, suffer, and break, every time I think of you, just like now." My heart sped, as I begin to finish my confession, but his mouth moved to say something, I beat him, "I don't hate you, I don't blame you, it's more of the fact that I can't be with you keel, " I sob, my cheeks dripping wet of tears, "I can't belive I had to Fall in love with a monster," I glanced back at him, meeting his eyes with mine, and ran back to camp, I didn't hear his voice, nor any of his foot steps following me. I never want to show my face to him.

I peek back, but keel stood in the same exact spot, looking at completely nothing but a bush, shock, and other emotions filling his face. But I kept running, I don't know why, why, is it I run? I slow down, as I reach the fire, and look back, he didn't stand at the same spot, but I couldn't see him. He disappeared into the darkness. Mippy still slept, as I approach him, and sit next to him.

The fire heated my face, as I reach for my guitar. I pull it close to me, and try to sooth my self, and begin to whisper out,

**_Heart beats fast  
Colors and promises_**

I breath in shaky

**_How to be brave?_**

This song, I've always thought it was about mothers warmth, but it's not. Not even close. My stupid self as a child.

**_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall  
But watching you stand alone?  
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_**

**_One step closer_**

This pain, it's clenching my heart. Strangling it.

**_I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_**

**_Time stands still  
Beauty in all she is  
I will be brave  
I will not let anything take away  
What's standing in front of me  
Every breath  
Every hour has come to this_**

My whispers, become more louder, as I sing to my melody.

**_One step closer_**

**_I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_**

**_And all along I believed I would find you  
Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_**

Even if you do change keel, I will always love him. No matter how much I regret having such feelings, or never seeing him again.

**_One step closer  
One step closer_**

**_I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_**

This is my plea, to any one listening, some one, please keep keel safe, and help him not be lonely in that forest he wanders.

**_And all along I believed I would find you  
Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_**

As I finish, no tears fell. My body, feels empty, as if I could disappear in any minute. I feel the rush of fear, and sickness start in the pit of my stomach. I feel as if I'm going to puke, but still, I move around. Not daring to look for keel in the trees, or paths. I keep my head looking downward.

"Lavie?" I heard my sleepy pig demon whisper, as he rubbed his eyes.

I move close to him, and gently lay him on my lap, "sorry mippy," I say, "I was just playing, I can't really sleep, so you can go back to bed."

"No," he responded, "I won't sleep unless Lavie does," he's so cute.

I give into his pouting,"okay," I tap on his head, and lay to my side,one arm as a pillow, as mippy pushed his little pillow under my arm, and pulled the blanket over us. Then he crawled into my chest area, and I pull him in. I could feel his warmth, and I wanted to tell him what had happened just now, but everything, really, just seems to turn its back on me.

Even if mippy would never do that, I just don't have the guts to tell him. Maybe as soon as keel leaves I will tell him. "Lavie?" He asked.

"Yea?" I respond.

"Why are you sad?" He questioned.

"I don't know," my voice sounds shaky, as I tighten my grip on him.

I feel him move, "you can't lie to me," he told.

I open my mouth, the words flowing out, but instead, "because she fell in love with a monster, mippy," keel? I shoot up, still keeping mippy in my arms. He sounds sad, but I can't find him. I look back, and there he was, packing his stuff into a bag.

"Keel!" I squeal, from a lot of emotions, but his eyes are red, why? Is he okay?

"Lavie?" Mippy whispered.

"He's right mippy, I did, but I can't stop him from doing what he wants," I whisper back trying to hid my face with my hair.

"Lavie," his voice sounded more urgent, as he looked over my shoulder.

I flip my head to the side, as I look what's wrong, "keel?" He stood, he had changed his arm and tail into his ape, but few questions run through my mind.

Why is he changed?  
How'd he change?  
Who changed him?  
Why is he facing us?  
Is he going to attack us?  
What's going on?

I feel mippy slip from my arms, and fly in-between me and him. He held his arms out, as if he could protect me. "I'm not letting you hurt her," he yelled, "oink!"

He said nothing, but as he charged forward, "mippy!" Tears falling from my eyes, as he raised his claw, what's happen to him? mippy closed his eyes, why is he doing this? "Mippy," is he going to kill him? "Stop!' I scream, at the top off my lungs.

His arm swung to mippy, but stopped right before it hit him. Blue air floated to mippy, and he dropped, but before he hit the ground, keel grabbed him. Keel hugged him with his unchanged arm, closely, and the red eyes of his changed back to his normal onyx eyes. He looks shocked, "what?" He whispers.

"Giveme mippy!" I yell.

"Lavie?"

The bush rustles, "what's going on?" I snap my head to the voice, blue!

"Blue! Run!" I yell, I don't want him to get dragged into this.

"What do you mean!" Yelled keel.

"No," he walked over, changing into his fighting form, his back showed to me, as his sword was drawn.

"I'm not!" Yelled keel, "argarghgh" I hear him, he sounds struggling, but blue hasn't even made a move yet. Damnit! I can't see!

I move more to the left, to see what's happening. Keel had his hands/apearm on his head. Mippy was on the ground, away from keel. But keel, was holding his head, swirling around, as if he were in pain. He stopped, his movement, his screaming in agony, and it became silent. His head shot up, and his eyes were blood red. He charged blue, and clawed at him.

Blue blocked with his sword, and his feet pushed back. I wrap my self out of the blankets as I crawl quickly to the guitar. I pull it in, and yell, "do you have it on you?" He only nodded in response, the wild keel was hard to handle, and blue was out of his element.

I begin the playing, seeing that even playing one of my melody did nothing for Blue. Keel punched Blue, sending him flying to a close tree, and he turned to me.

His eyes flashed of white, but quickly went back to red as he stepped forward. My body tenses, as I watch each and every step he moves forward, but his humanity struggling to stay. He got so close I was looking up to his red eyes, and copper brown hair, and tan skin. He's hot, but not like this. His ape arm rised as if he were going to swing at me, as I close my eyes, expecting to get killed, I don't feel it. I open my eyes, looking straight to a very confusing seen.

His human hand, was holding his ape hand, covered in scales. Blood dripped from keels hand, as his eyes flash red to white, "run," his voice struggled to get out. My legs shake, as I try moving, but I can't, I give up. Keel this fear is caused from you, but yet there's my love that hasn't even shattered yet. I look at him again, he was no longer struggling, and is fist drove straight into my ribs. I feel the cracks, of my bones, and the burning sensation and my blood spilling, as I fly. The air feels nice and calming, so is this death? It can't be.

I feel the intense pain of my body slamming into a tree. I fight the black flooding m eyes, as I look at keel for one last time of my life. Death has taken its turn on me, and I can except it. It's my fault for falling in love. And happy ever afters never exist, fables, myth all that is a told so kids can dream, but dreaming hurts.

So.  
So.  
So,very much. But my last hope of seeing keel, is gone, he's disappeared. And my vision goes black, my hearing is gone, and I have given up. Life is over, welcome to the world of death.

I don't want to die.  
I want to live my life.  
I want to love, have a family, and live in the nicest place.

I feel like I'm floating. This image who is it?

The family was in the kitchen, a small little boy and an even younger girl. The girl looked about 7, had her hair down to her mid back, and colored brown, like the fall leaves. Her eyes were almost red, and she has a gold ring on her finger. The older boy had blondish hair, with black highlights, his smile was cocky, his eyes were green, and he to has a golden ring, but it's on his arm.

A blonde woman walks in to the kitchen, with a cheerful smile, "hey uncle blue's here!" Is-is that me? How I thought I'm dead? Why do I have children? Who's the father? Why do they have the rings?

"Yea!" Cheered the kids, who ran past there mom, and into the living room. Blue sat on the leather couch, waiting for the annoying little brats he calls em, to jump up and down on his lap. They did exactly that. The 'future Lavie' walked into the living room holding two, black, coffee cups. She sat next blue, and placed both of them on the table, next to a few books.

"How's his condition?" Asked blue.

"Stable... Enough," she told him, holding the brunette in her lap, "he's still fighting, and I'm still hoping," what's she talking about? Condition? Fighting?

"Hey that's my dolly!" Yelled the child, who jumped off her mothers lap, and chased the older boy.

"I hope keel can come back, like nothing ever happened, like normally does," whispered Lavie. Keel?! He's the one I marry? But!

"I hope you and him can be happy, like the old times," he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, smiling sadly.

"Thanks." I don't understand. I'm dead. That's all. This is a dream, a dream, it's all just a dream. It's a figure of my dead, imagination. I don't, and never will, have children. I will never, ever, have a husband, and never will it be keel. I won't live in a house hold, with a nice aura, and have kids wearing rings that could summon their powers. Blue will never be an 'uncle' of my, or keels children, because I believe he's dead. Everything here is a lie.

Lie. This lie, is the most unfair of them all. A lie of hope.

Light?

Is that a voice?

The murmuring increased in sound.

Who is it? Where am I?

My heavy eyelids drew open, and I glance around. Is that blue?

His head was on the window, and his eyes rested on something distant. His body is relaxed, and the table infront of him has some coffee, and a news paper. His arms covered in bandages, and his body held many scars I've never seen. I open my mouth, and try to say something, but it only comes out as air. I look at my other surroundings, a hospital bed, white sheets, my clothes changed to hospital dresses. A big flower pot next to the bed on a dresser. On my other side a machine, and even more machines, that connected to me.

"Blue?" I manage to whisper, and look back at him, but his thoughts keep him away, "blue," I say a little more loudly, and his eyes peered to me. I say it once more, "hey, you, blue, I know you hear me."

My confident smile came to my face, only hurting my body, So I go back to a small smile. "Lavie," his voice was a low whisper, and his gaze was kind, and yet surprised. "I'm glad your awake," he told me, dragging his chair to the side of my bed.

He looked down at me, as I gaze at him, so many questions I really don't know how to say anything. So first thing is first, "where's keel?" I ask.

He sighed, "I really didn't think as soon as you woke up, you'd ask that...but you have to know." His blue, eyes, that never showed me this kind expression before, and his soft, easy going, relaxed body, "I think he's in the city, he's not really socializing, but he's here for a mission, I think."

Wait..stop...a mission? Socializing? You think? I don't understand. Time or question two, that should have been question one, "how long have I been out?"

"Almost a month, 23 days," he's been counting, but he hasn't looked at me in the eye for real.

"I thought I was dead." I whisper.

"I did to," he commented back, "I worried your body wasn't as durable as mine, luckily he didn't hit you as hard as he hit me." He sighed in relief, but that doesn't give me relief, no where close. He was hit, by keel...a lot harder than I. How'd we get here? What happened after I was hit? "You want me to explain, don't you?" I nod, "I was hit, you were hit, we both couldn't fight. I stumbled back to camp, to retrieve you, and flee. But it was to late." What? Wait to late for what? "You were on the ground, keel nowhere to be found, and mippy was gone to. Your wounds were bad, you had 6 stitches on your back, and 3 broken ribs."That injured? But better, mippy?! Here the hell is he?! "You had lost a lot of blood when I found you, but I carried you back, my wounds affected me so much that it caused your stay at the hospital a longer time than needed." He stopped, and even more questions ran through my head.

How am I still alive?  
Where's mippy?!  
Why'd keel flee?!  
Did he take mippy?!  
"Mippy s gone?" I whisper.

"No, he's with keel."

Keel! "Why?"

"I don't know," he responded, leaning back.

"Okay," I rub my temple, not having enough strength to sit up. "I need to just get all this through my mind, can you get me some water?"

He stands, walks away. The door opened, and I could see few doctors, and visitors around the closes the door quietly, as I look back at the ceiling. I thought I was dead. That dream was nothing but a lie, that shattered my hope. Mippy is for some reason, with keel. Keel has been unsocial, taking missions, and following them. What I wrong with him? And mippy! A lot has happened for almost a month. My crush turns to a devil, taking my best friend, mippy. Mippy obliges to stay with him. Blue is acting a lot nicer.

The doors opens again, and a old voice, of a man walks in. "So she is finally awake," he says with a warm smile, blue walks in quietly behind him.

"Yes," I whisper out. Both of them came to the side of my bed, the old man helped me sit up, and leaned me against the head board of the bed. Blue handed me the water I had sent him out for as the doctor sat next to me.

He pulled his clipboard out of his armpit, and a pen from his coat. "How do you feel," that's a very good question, how do I feel.

"Tired," I respond.

"Is that all?"

"Well when I move to much it hurts."

"Well that's completely logical," he told me, "some one with wounds like you could be dead right now." He told, "really, I don't know how you survived."

"My lucky day," I try to fake smile, even though I wish I was dead. I don't want to see keel, or mippy, oh hell anyone else either. All I have is Blue.

"For recovery I suggest you stay here for a week or two. Then you can go home and have a bed rest, for a few days before you return to your company."

I guess Blue hasn't told him about us. We don't have a house. We don't work, we have quests. But maybe he's planned everything out, that's what he normally does. "Thank you," I say, as the doc began to leave, he responded with a smile and shut the door.

I look back at blue, "you didn't tell him any thing, did you." I stated.

"About us not having a house?" He asked.

"Yea, I mean we always slept in camps, or in hotels."

"No, not any more."

"Wait what?" What!

"I contacted your family to tell them we were in the hospital, and asked if they could help us out," he sat back in his chair, and sighed. "Your parents are worried so we will stay over there after this."

"But," I'm so confused.

"Lavie," his tone was so serious, "you might ever get back and do quests, and missions. The longer you get some rest it will give you a higher chance of fighting again. Just sit tight, I'll be back." He stood, and left the room. Where is he going? How long will he be out? Why is he being so nice, and talkative? Is mippy okay? I'm so confused!

My eyes close, and I go back to my dream. There I was with blue, we talked about keel, as keel and my children run around.

I want to hid...and cry. I'm wish that that night hadn't happened. _That I had never fallen in love with keel._

**my next update will be in like 4 or less months. Like on every other story on my account that is still not complete, I have been busy with school. I plan on having this a 3 chapter story. So yea, bye!**


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